I'm Still Here

"I swear, I died inside that night
But I'm still here
And small
So small…how could this struggle seem so big?
So big...
While the palms in the breeze still blow green
And the waves in the sea still absolute blue
But the horror…
Every single thing I see is a reminder of her
Never thought I'd curse the day I met her
But I'm still here

So I imagine in a month...or twelve
I'll be somewhere having a drink
Laughing at a stupid joke
Or just another stupid thing
And I can see myself stopping short
Drifting out of the present
Sucked by the undertow and pulled out deep
And there I am, standing
Wet grass and white headstones all in rows
And in the distance there's one, off on its own
So I stop, kneel
My new home...
And I picture a sober awakening, a re-entry into this little bar scene
Sip my drink til’ the ice hits my lip
Order another round

And that's it for now…
Sorry…
Never been too good at happy endings..."

Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam)

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